Some years ago I had an experience whilst exploring 'alternative' things. I had a profound insight that my dharma in this life was to reconnect people to the wonder of life through their body, and to do this I had to reconnect to the wonder of who I was.
It was shocking as during that time I was in the grip of an eating disorder, I had a very confused relationship to my body, one of commanding, reproaching and feeling generally let down by how I couldn't be how I was supposed to be.
Barely able to write, I cried as I wrote the words in my journal and wondered the next day how I will ever actualise this message from my unconscious whilst the compassion I gave to myself with one hand I so easily took away the other. And yet I overcame my eating disorder soon after (with the help of therapy), this far away voice came closer with each passing week, and I now know that night I spoke my Truth.
My practice slowly changed, I worked increasingly with people who could not do vigorous vinyasa Yoga through injury or disability. Seeing the beauty of them moving, their body adjusting to what was perfect for them, adapting exquisitely as we worked on movement expressions, I learnt that in the letting go adhering to how Yoga 'ought' to be, this is where the transformation happens.
In letting go of commanding and directing in my own practice, my authentic voice in the moment comes through with as little interference from life's shoulda, gotta, oughtas. And it is this I am most concerned with when teaching: removing the outside imposition of how we should be and look.
Through Gestalt Therapy, I've honed the skill of allowing the student's practice to unfold as it will with a light guiding hand. I have little interest in your flexibility or strength for the sake of flexibility and strength. Rather I want to provide the space whereby you can slowly but surely meet yourself in this moment however this is and know in your heart you're not broken or need to be improved, that nobody knows you as well as you know yourself. I have seen countless times the experienced Yogi who contorts with tension through the imposition of how Yoga ought to be. And I've seen so many times the beginner moving with grace and suppleness as they are free from imposition.
I understand that if I give you lots of alignment points, this will give you a sense of being 'right' in a movement, but unfortunately this 'right' comes from the outside and having experienced for myself the transformation of 'right' coming from within, I want to encourage this for you. Instead of commands, there are inquiries so that you can increase your knowledge from the inside-out, heightening your own voice in the moment so that the guiding hand slowly arises from within and you discover and move from the power of who and what you are.
In moving from our Truth, I truly believe we become gentler, fiercer, and awake to the beauty of being.
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